Mother’s Day can bring up a lot when someone you love isn’t here, I know I dread this time of year! You might feel sad, angry, numb, or even unsure what you’re “meant” to do. If you’re reading this and thinking, "this day feels complicated", you’re not alone.
At Ashes By Victoria we put together a gentle list of ideas for marking Mother’s Day in a way that feels right for you. There’s no perfect way to do it — and you don’t have to do any of it, but it might help.
If Mother’s Day feels heavy this year, you’re not doing it “wrong”
Grief doesn’t follow the calendar, but certain dates can make everything feel closer. Mother’s Day can be especially difficult because it’s so public — cards in shops, social posts, and well-meaning questions.
If you need permission to keep things simple, here it is:
- It’s okay to opt out of plans.
- It’s okay to feel fine one moment and overwhelmed the next.
- It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.
- It’s okay if you "do" want to talk about them all day.
Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid.
Small, meaningful ways to mark the day (without pressure)
Sometimes the smallest rituals are the most supportive, because they don’t demand too much of you.
1. Light a candle at a set time
Choose a time that feels meaningful and sit with it for a few minutes — no big ceremony needed.
2. Write them a letter (or a note on your phone)
You can tell them what you miss, what’s changed, or simply what you wish you could say.
3. Make or buy something they loved
A cup of tea the way they took it, a favourite cake, or a meal that reminds you of them.
4. Visit a place that holds a memory
A bench, a beach, a garden centre — anywhere that feels like them.
5. Create a tiny tradition with children
Share a story, look at photos together, or start a “memory jar” where you add one note each year.
6. Take a break from social media
If scrolling feels painful, it’s completely okay to step away for the day.
7. Do one kind thing for yourself
A walk, an early night, a quiet bath — something that helps your body feel a little safer.
Keeping them close in a way you can carry
For some people, having something tangible can help on days like this — something you can hold, touch, or wear when you need to feel connected.
That might be a piece of inherited jewellery, a small charm, or something you wear privately under your clothes. Some people also choose memorial jewellery made to hold a connection in a very personal way.
At Ashes by Victoria, I make memorial jewellery where a small amount of cremation ashes is fused into glass and set into sterling silver or gold. I’m careful to keep the focus on creating something beautiful and wearable — not something that feels clinical or hidden away.
If you’ve ever worried about how memorial jewellery will look over time, it’s worth knowing that glass won’t yellow or fade in the way resin can. Each piece is handmade, and each one is unique.
If you’re considering memorial jewellery, a few gentle things to think about
There’s no rush to decide anything before Mother’s Day. But if you’ve been thinking about a piece for a while, these questions can help you work out what would feel right.
Do you want it to be visible or discreet?
Some people want to see the ash where as others want it less obvious. We have so many ways of adding the ash to your jewellery. It all comes down to your preference and style.
Ring or pendant?
A ring can feel very present and comforting, but it’s also something you’ll notice constantly on your hands. A pendant can be easier for everyday wear, especially if you work with your hands.
What would feel like them?
Colour, shape, and simplicity matter. Sometimes the best choice is the one that makes you think, "yes — that feels right".
Do you want to include anything else?
Some people like to incorporate a birthstone colour, a favourite shade, or a design detail that quietly reflects their person. If you’re unsure, it’s okay to ask questions first. You don’t need to have the “perfect” idea before you reach out.
A quiet closing thought
If Mother’s Day is difficult this year, please be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to make it meaningful in a big way for it to matter.
And if keeping them close through something wearable feels like it might help, I’m here to talk it through with you — calmly, privately, and without pressure.
Victoria x